On the Same Page

I post a lot of fun family pictures and stories of how great our life is, but there is another side to the Musketeer Family. The one full of raised voices and hurt feelings. A lot of our less than stellar moments lately have revolved around parental issues.

Alex is quite the handful lately. He has really blossomed in some ways, but in others he is still trying decide whether he is ready to grow up.  For example, he reads quite well already. In fact I caught him reading my facebook status over my shoulder the other day. However, when it comes to eating or bathing he acts like a two year old, often with full out meltdowns. Our kid is full of contradictions like these. Is anyone one else thinking of the Starbursts commercial now? Anyway...

Matt and I also had very different childhood experiences, and we both see a little of ourselves in Alex. But the one thing we have in common is our LOVE for the kid, and we both want him to be happy. So we took the time this morning to get on the same page. We are never going to agree 100% of the time, but we can't let Alex see us divided. So, we decided that when Alex misbehaves he will go in time out for five minutes, and we will use this time to decide together on a course of action. During this time we can decide which battles to pick and no one has to be the bad guy/good guy. We are showing Alex a united front from here on out.

We also decided that we (I) need to remove the emotion from the discipline. So, the 5 minute time out is also a parental cool down. Its easy to over react to undesired behavior when we (I) am already stressed or worked up over something else.

We also agreed on an evening bike ride or walk (weather permitting) as well as a nightly family reading time before bed. That way no matter how busy or stressed our day is, we can unwind together.

I am really lucky to have a partner that is willing to compromise and talk about our problems. And I am already feeling better and less stressed. This is the first time either of us have done this parenting/marriage thing, and we are bound to make mistakes. We do. A lot. But we try to learn from them and move on to better things. Each day brings something different, and we are making the decision to be happy, together. One for all, and all for one!